Being Certain.

So I have not written in my blog a little less than a year. This past year at school was a real test for me with my faith in God and trust in Him. Well I didnt do so well in my test. I feel a long ways down, to a point where people started to point it out to me. I realized that I had a problem, tried to fixed it, continued to do it, and fixed it again. I also realized that I had little faith in God. I had not read or even picked up my bible for a long time, had not had a spiritual conversation with anyone, pushed myself far away from God, and I couldnt sleep anymore either. I started to see things again and wake up in the middle of the night due to a heavy pressure on my body and night sweats. I couldnt sleep in fear of dying during my sleep and having that fear that I would not go to heaven, I would feel as if someone was watching me. It was no way to keep living. I finally left school and got home, went to church and they just started to do these communication cards. So I wrote down, "having little faith in God," not knowing why I was sharing this with people I didnt know. I got an email 3 days later from the pastor telling me that he is there for me if I needed to talk to someone and that through every believers journey people go through a period when they have little faith and have a hard time believing. This made me feel so much better knowing that I was not alone, that when God looks at me He sees Jesus, he sees perfect! :) How amazing is this! He sees me perfect, he has this love that never fails and he will NEVER leave me! Mark 11:22 says this, "Have faith in God, Jesus answered." Simple yet powerful! And Hebrews 11:1 says this, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see." My faith needs to be sure of what I hope for; heaven, doing Gods will to the end, pursing Him, and my faith needs to be certain of what I cant see, I need to remember that I know for certain that God is there even though I cant see him. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.

Well updating has become very well it just hasnt happened in a very long time! haha
SO this summer was a huge test from God, I sometimes relay on others to grow in my faith but I have to grow in my faith through God and relay on him alone! He also taught me that if I dont have a good and solid relationship with God then how can I have one with someone else! It was a very nice lesson, my summer wasnt the most edifying for my soul so to walk away with this made me realize that I do have a somewhat solid relationship with God which me the all the more excited! I couldnt wait to get back up to school, God gave me this new passion for investing in others lives, which I am totally excited for!
This past couple of weeks I have been asking God to teach me what it means for my soul to be still and show me what that looks like and to wait patiently upon the Lord. It will be interesting to see what he has planned for me!

Pressure!!

Being a 20 year old women, half way through college, hasn't touched a relationship for a good 7 years...I am under a lot of pressure to be in a relationship, get married, and have kids one day. But seeing as how both my siblings are in serious relationships, this means to the rest of the world that i should be in one as well. According to my grandparents, mother, father, even my doctor, what is that? This just makes me even more anxious and want to be in one, well really actually makes me want to get married but, i know that God has a plan for me!

As a wise women once told me, if God pulled you aside from the rest of the world, and said, this is who you are going to marry, this is what he looks like, and you will meet him on this day at this time. Now are you worried about being in a relationship? Of course not you know who, where, when, and how.

BUT what we forget is that this is Gods plan all along and he knows but we don't know. I love surprises and of it wasn't a surprise it might ruin it for me, so I know that God will give me a good man when I am ready to be in a relationship. It is hard when all your friends enter into one, or they are all getting married and you are going to 7 weddings in a summer, but stand strong, God has a plan....remember that!!

Questions...??

Some of the simple questions are the most important questions...

Does God Exist?


The complexity of our planet points to a deliberate Designer who not only created our universe, but sustains it today. We know God exists because he pursues us. He is constantly initiating and seeking for us to come to him. Unlike any other revelation of God, Jesus Christ is the clearest, most specific picture of God revealing himself to us.

What is the meaning of living?


The reason we live is to glorify God in every thing we do, say, and live. It is all for God and his glory. We need to be weak so that his strength will shine through!

Why is there so much evil in the world?


Matthew 4: 8-9 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me." The devil controls the earthly things...and God controls the heavens. Remember things here on earth fade away and what we do for God will last forever! :)

We need to remember how much God loves us and how much he gave for us.


This Sunday is Easter...the day that Jesus rose from the dead and walked out of the tomb with holes in his hands and feet. This Friday is the the day that he was persecuted! Remember the LOVE that God has given us! He loves you so much and he was willing to suffer the greatest pain in order to save you from your sins and have be cleansed...to have that personal relationship with him!

"And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground" Luke 22:44.

It is the middle of the week already and what a day it has been! So last night i went to bed think oh man i did so much homework this weekend...then to remember that oh snap ive got to write a paper and study for a test tomorrow in CJ....uhhh so therefore I got up earlier than anyone should be up and wrote that paper and still have yet to study but it will come, you just wait. I really dont want to study but I know that the more I do the better grade that I will get...isnt that just kind of like the bible, you should really study it like there is no tomorrow for when people ask you questions you know the answers and can reference back and you get a "good grade" so to speak in life. It is all connected. Let me ask you a question, how often do we study a study guide if it is giving to us for the hardest test...alot right, lets be honest here! haha So if the bible is like the study guide of life how come we are not studying the crap out it?? And you are...you just keep truckin along friend! Life is full of things, people, and awesome memories...make everyone a good one! You have one life to live...do something about it! :) <3>

Hey ya'll!
So yesterday I participated in a thing called, "the broken bread meal." It was tough i tell you what! So Its where you eat the food that the kids and people in Africa eat. It did not taste very good but thats okay. So many kids are suffering because they do not have enough money to buy even a meal a day. One girl in her story said that she would give up her meals for her siblings and she would work all day with no place to lay her head at night. This just breaks my heart...but once again what am I doing about it? Nothing. After that I went out to dinner with my friends for a birthday party...then i thought oh good I am a part of this statistic that while 13,000 kids will die today while we will spend 1 billion dollars on food. WOW! How many times have I complained about the food here at school and how bad it is how much food I waste! I hope that you allow God to work in you and break you. I am broken now...now what do I do??

So lately I have been thinking about serving over seas...it is a big step in my faith, in trusting, and kinda in my packet! haha

I was thinking pretty deeply about it and then this traveling team came and spoke about missions over seas. Like wow thanks God for kind of confirming to me. I have so many choices as well. He really broke my heart for the unreached people of the world. I really would like to talk with people about God and be that first person that they come in contact with, with Christian. Once again God has broken my heart. Let me ask you a question...

what wreaks you...and what are you doing about it??

Think about this and maybe talk to me about it sometime!

Life is hard, we go through it complaining, like Nehemia, he complained for a good four months straight and then he was like uhh what am I doing...I should be praising God for what he has given me and he was like all whooo again. It was the point that he was feeling wreaked and he was doing nothing about it.

What are you going to do about the things that wreak you??